If I hadn't had the privilege of participating in the traditional before-noon "fetching of the bride," I wouldn't have fully grasped my friend JJ's deeply emotional pledge to her parents at the lavish banquet that night.

I was truly honored to be asked to ride the convoy of eight black limos that left the city hotel, accompanied by many fireworks, at the auspicious time of precisely 9:28 am.

Actually, it had been a struggle getting everyone organized and we missed our intended launch time, which had been set at 9:18 am. In Chinese, those numbers sound similar to the phrase "just want riches."

Following tradition was the key in fetching JJ, who comes from a family of rice farmers about an hour's drive outside of Nanjing city, Jiangsu Province. The groom, ZZ, my nephew-in-law, is a brilliant and successful businessperson who is a third-generation educated professional.

The marriage of the well-read urbanite to the peasant girl raised a few eyebrows with my Chinese family. They were worried the new couple's differences would be greater than even my exotic insinuation into the family. Despite the obvious gap, love was allowed to have its way on this day.

We arrived at the bride's village to find the bridge is out and had to walk the last couple of kilometers to JJ's family home.

The village was set in idyllic, classic Chinese countryside, surrounded by hip-high crops of rice and fish ponds dotting the vast tracks of farm land. Close up, I could see that life there is hard, poor, isolated, and incredibly difficult to scratch your way out of.

After a few playful rebuffs of the groom's attempts to get in, ZZ was required to sing a song to prove his love for the family's eldest daughter.

After pinning a corsage on his bride's white wedding dress, ZZ ceremonially handed over the traditional hongbao (red envelopes) to JJ's parents. From this moment he is allowed to call his parents-in-law Ma and Ba.

The family's resistance in allowing their daughter to chu men (go out the door) was all pretence. They had spent days preparing a lavish lunch banquet. The 25 guests were arranged in order of age, gender and importance of their relation to the bride, who spent the entire meal lighting cigarettes.

Sitting beside the groom and JJ's uncles, all of whom had long ago left the village to work in other parts of the county, I toasted the happy couple with cups of baijiu (white spirit) and gorged on home-cooked dishes.

Finally, it was time to take the bride back to the city and present her to ZZ's parents. The bride's arrival at the high-density apartment complex was greeted with a mass of fireworks that had neighbors scrambling to bring in their laundry to avoid getting it covered in ashes.

Now it was JJ's turn to be presented to her new parents. While ZZ had handed over his hongbao to take the daughter from her family, JJ received hongbao as welcoming tokens from ZZ's family.

JJ thanked her new relatives using their familial names for the first time. JJ now calls me Xiao Yifu (younger uncle) as I am her husband's youngest aunt's husband.

Driving back to where we had started from that morning we discover the wedding planners had turned the small hotel (which ZZ invested in and JJ manages) into a splash of red roses and arches and ten-tired wedding cake.

It was an overdone, derivative Western wedding reception that included every cliché and more; such as a three-meter-tall photograph of the happy couple posing with a teddy bear. The bride changed into her third wedding gown of the day.

Along with providing an excellent party for 150 friends and family, the non-religious ceremony was intended to make a statement.

It showed the bride's parents that the groom really is successful and had money to splash on a lavish reception. It showed the groom's parents that despite the difference in background this was the woman who would make him happy.

The most touching moment of the day was JJ's tearful pledge to her parents. JJ has a sister but no brothers. Her family was ridiculed by other villagers and even other extended family members for not producing a male heir.

This is obviously the source of her a driving ambition and maturity beyond her years and likely the reason ZZ loves her so much.

On the wedding stage in front of all the witnesses, JJ sobbed in triumph at bringing a university-educated man into her family. "No one will make fun of us now," she sputtered.

China needs more couples like these two.